*Find part one, part two, and part three here. 

Isn’t it funny how the very lessons we need to learn are often
put right in our path to stumble over?

And even when we know they’re lessons, we still resist them? 

This year, with the help of my friend A., I organized a holiday craft-ernoon party and cookie exchange. We set a date, bought supplies, and invited about 30 people (including 18 of my most crafty friends). A. so graciously agreed to host the party at her (large) house. 

“What a good time this will be!” I thought. I was looking forward to it for weeks, with dreams of hand-decorated ornaments, scrumptious cookies, and friends gathered ‘round the table while Bing Crosby crooned his holiday tunes. 

So much for having the best-laid plans. 

“Cultivate faith. To have great faith is to have great power, because your intent, your will, is undivided. When your word isn’t dissipated by doubt, the power of your word becomes even stronger.”

The night before my fantastically fun holiday party, it snowed. A lot. Like, A LOT a lot. The morning of my party, I awoke with a sneaking suspicion that I would encounter multiple party-cancellations.

And so it was. The cancellations started rolling in. 

I went to A’s house anyway, bringing with me homemade whipped shortbread, chocolate toffee squares, and a whole slew of crafting supplies. Despite knowing most people had already cancelled, I was hopeful that a few people might make it. 

But they didn’t. None of my friends showed up to my holiday party.  

I’d like to say it didn’t hurt, but I’d be lying. It stung.

“Replace fear with love. The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted. When you are impeccable wtih your word, your mind is no longer fertile ground for the words that come from fear; your mind is only fertile for the words that come from love.”

A. and I spent the afternoon chatting, eating, and making crafts. It was only a bit embarrassing when 2 of her friends showed up and asked “Where is everyone else?!”

So much growth to be had in the hard moments. 

Each of the Four Agreements presented themselves. First, I made a few assumptions. “Maybe my friends didn’t want to come at all.” Wrong. 

“Let go of self-judgment and blame. Being impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself for anything.”

Second, I was reminded not to take anything personally (told you these 2 agreements are closely related). My friends didn’t skip the party because they don’t like me; they stayed home because there’s 15 feet of snow in every freaking direction, and the roads are a slushy, slippery mess. It’s a safety issue. I get it.

And Always Do My Best? You bet. That was the whole point of the party. To do something special and fun; to do the very best I could. 

But maybe I could also Do My Best while dealing with the partygoers’ absence. Maybe My Best included how I handled my own emotions. I could choose to be sad and angry, or I could choose to have fun anyway. So I did just that.

“Express your love. Impeccability of the word can be measured by your level of self-love. If you love yourself, you will express that love in your interactions with others, and that action will produce a like reaction.”

You know what? Our little party was fun. I carved a rubber stamp, made some xmas cards, beaded a pipe-cleaner candy cane, glue-gunned ornaments (and my finger), and ate a serious amount of decadent food.

I was reminded to Be Impeccable with My Word. Although upset at my no-show holiday party, I knew there was no one to blame. Not even myself. This was no one’s fault. I couldn’t have prevented it. It just happened.   

“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

Maybe the point of my holiday party was not to see my friends and do the party for them, but to enjoy it for myself. I would not have done all those extra steps if I’d known no one was coming. 

Nature has a way of teaching us to surrender.
To let go and just be in it. Don’t bother fighting.

This lesson presents itself on a daily basis, but how often do we resist? We push back, work harder, try to control. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!”

“Release the need to be right. When you believe something, you assume you are right, and you may even destroy relationships in order to defend your position. Let go of the need to defend your position.”

A-ha. Expectations. There they are: I threw the party with a certain expectation of outcome, and my happiness depended on that outcome. So once again, good ol’ life came by to slap me upside the head with a big fat lesson: Let go of expectations. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. Don’t take anything personally. Be impeccable with your word. Have fun.